


Hearts of glass (Mirror one another)

by Amouheureuse



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A lot of lyrics related to stars., A tiny bit of humor to lure you., Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, I Tried, M/M, Magical Realism, Poetic, Posted again after deleting it :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amouheureuse/pseuds/Amouheureuse
Summary: Living as mark lee was already hard. Combine that with soft lyrical verses that pop in his mind out of nowhere and manifest into real life events the next seconds and you'll get the perfect mix.Or mark is supposed to write cool ass rap lyrics, but his mind keeps comparing haechan to a star.*Reposted cuz i deleted it once.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Hearts of glass (Mirror one another)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.. so I deleted this then went back on my decision hehehe  
> Hope you enjoy!!  
> The ages follow the korean system.

People really be convinced being mark lee is easy peasy when guess what? it's not.

He was 18 when his debut rap verse had a cuss word in it and now everyone expects him to be the edgy swagger rapper of the team.

Well if "ass" is even considered a cuss word....

It's not that mark doesn't want to be their token cool foreign member. He's naturally sweary, and somehow that's very attractive to international stans who are convinced having a driving license in the 21th century is sexy.

Alas, there is the very important notion of appropriate ways of speaking in public, especially in south korea and yeah... he doesn't want to blamed for suspending their vlive channel. 

(He can imagine his canadian friends laughing at him everytime Mnet forces to him to trade _" ass"_ with _"longest"_ , like a fucking 8th grade loser)

With all of that being said, it's not the pressure of the image he has to put out to the world and the hundrends of saesangs invading his privacy on a daily basis that got him to state the first sentence of this 5k word fanfic, it's something less life-threatening and more ..... strange ig.

Truth be told, mark has always( yes always and not usually) been confident in his writing, he really is the kind of person who would take a look at his work and then subtly smirk because let's be real here, call him cocky or whatever shit your pathetic ass feel like saying, but he writes that well. His rap verses never fail to represent the essence of their brand.

(It also helps he's kenzie's favorite rookie and she couldn't care less that he's 19 years old and writing very questionable lyrics)

But

_I can't even look away_

_Mesmerised, I only smile_

_No matter how starry is the sky_

_You're shinning the brightest in my heart_

Yeah, This is the fucking problem.

Lately his mind, out of nowhere, like legit without any heads up, has been coming up with weird, fuzzy, poetic shit like this. Mark is not someone who dislikes romance, the fact that he watched 16 candles and not cringed once is enough of a testament for it. 

What bothers him and shakes his entire beinh to the core lies in the fact that he genuinely has no idea of what or who triggers such thoughts. He figured that it must be something very special if it reminds him of the most beautiful thing in the world, stars.

But, you see last time mark checked, he wasn't in love with anyone, let alone associating them with any celestial objects.

Days and days (more like stolen minutes cuz packed schedule..) were spent thinking of his potential love interest, of the toothbrush to his toothpaste, the michelle to his obama, the star to his sky, but to no avail.

When he got desparate, he drew a circle of all his recent acquintances, narrowed them to the ones he actually got to have a conversation with and even made a system to compare the affinity with each and every one, like he's starring in the fucking bachelor.

He was left with two options : the interviewer whom he flirted with 2 days ago and his classmate who always seems to have time for him. Both cute but nothing was serious so...

Mark heaves a sigh, unlocks his phone and sighs again when he checks the time on the screen. Throwing the samsung in one his pockets, he gives lead to his feet taking him to the second room in the dorm .

He's just about to go in and forget everything in favor of resting( the usual), until he remembers he doesn't sleep there anymore.

He still stops at the entrance and chances a look at his ex roomate who is sleeping quite peacefully for someone who - just in the morning- graced mark with a very selective choice of words, one that not even their fans would find cool.

Sweet.

They haven't spared each other nice sentences since that nasty fight, around a month ago. despite their members, managers and even teacher lee soo man immense efforts to bring peace. It gets even more awkward when they have to play it up for the cameras.

He feels bad for their teammates, whenever he and donghyuck are at the dream's dorm, chenle starts playing with his fingers, darting his eyes between the two and messing up his already broken korean out of nervousness, the kid looks traumatized but donghyuck doesn't seem to notice, or even care for he is still acting like mark destroyed his crops, even in front of teacher lee soo man who's probably thinking he's too old for this shit.

It might comes as a suprise to you, but mark isn't the innocent, gullible kid he used to be during the MMC days. He is very much aware the falling out is affecting their group's dynamics despite the fact that they all pretend it doesn't. 2 days ago, sitting besides taeyong in the van after wrapping up their schedules, mark couldn't help but notice the latter hairline having a bit of white in it, he inwardly sighed and could only hope it wasn't stress-induced....

Also, who the fuck would think he's still naive when baby don't like it has his name in its credits?!

Anyways, mark can't say he doesn't care about the issue or that he doesn't feel his fists clenching everytime donghyuck refuses to touch his shoulder for 0,46 damn secondes during we young choreography.

(Oh, does he hope they exchange parts in one of these performances, he knows for a fact that he won't just touch donghyuck's shoulder, he will fucking punch him.)

What he can though, is to lean back on the doorsill and continue staring at donghyuck's face, pretending he's not terrified someone will catch him and turns it to the joke of the month.

It's kinda funny that he can make out haechan's features perfectly despite the lights being out. His hair is the first thing that stands out, half covered by the sheets and dyed a fluorescent shade of red seems to be rebellious, flashy against the darkness of the room, his moles ap-

_**"I used to believe** _

_**We were burning on the edge of something beautiful** _

_**Something-"** _

The (annoying) sound of his own phone ringing interrupts his short observation time, and mark tries very hard not to groan. He needs to stop giving people he had 1(1) interaction with his phone number, they don't seem to know their limits.

 _It's ok, the ringtone is a justin bieber's song, and we don't disrespect his masterpieces in this house,_ he tells himself.

Worried the sound would wake haechan who probably won't appreciate seeing his (now) sworn enemy staring at him like a creep, he leaves.

_When I think of love songs_

_My eyes look up at the night sky_

_What does it sign ?_

It's until he passes by the window on the way to his real bed, hearing doyoung humming "star blossom" in his sleep that he notices the shimmering sky outside.

He finds himself fixated on one particular spot, a star.

The beautiful precious thing is not any bigger than it peers, spherique, would've been easily lost in the sea of those magnificent night bodies. Yet it was radiating a color that's a tad bit different of white, and mark is unable to tear his eyes of its majesty.

As the night gets deeper, the sky's color changes, stars fade in some spots and new ones appear but his vision remains intact, focused.

He hungs up the call for the third time.

_\-----------------------_

At exactly 2:15 pm and while he was sitting on the couch playing video games like any other day, his mind does that "mAgIc" where all of the sudden, those verses make themselves.

_One of a kind, appearance and attitude_

_Got used to you before I even knew_

_Perhaps, your existence is reflecting within my soul_

_Cuz people say I have stars whenever I look at you._

Mark doesn't just cringe at his own cheesy words, his whole body shudders.

"Dude, I don't think you're aware of this, but you're whipped, like it's gotten a bit concerning now" Comes jaehyun, with his annoying baritone voice and even more infuriating dimples and flops on the end of the couch, startling mark who gets his character's ass beaten by the oppenent.

The K.O flashes on the screen and the avatar laughs villainously, mark grimaces.

"I think society moved past the need to say this word"

"I think we're past the need to talk like a stan twitter account, markie" Johnny chimes in, taking the opposite side (Literally and figuratively)

"Fine, I'm drinking iced tea, if that's what's you're talking about"

"Why would he talk about- never mind, did you see this?" johnny relaxes into the sofa, handing him an iphone and mark fakes nonchalace. Although frankly, he has a hard time hiding the smile that tugs at his lips at the title.

It's one of those shipping moments videos. Exactely the 5th part of it, this edition focuses on markhyuck being boyfriend culture technology.

If he had to sum up that 15:73 minutes long video, it would probably be something along the lines of donghyuck giving him first hand embarassement and them wearing the other's clothers as a proof of love when the reason for that is the laundry.

He doesn't mind it that much though. some people need to make money and if they are benefiting from analyzing human relationships, then be it. At least it makes their fans happy which is a good distraction from their horrible fandom name.

And plus he gets to see haechan's reactions from another angle (the camera's one) while cute love ballad songs are being played as the background music. So really, it's all good.

Mark caughs into his fist, doesn't take it off as he says "No, I didn't and I don't want to."

"Huh, thought you did, since you binge watch donghyuck's aegyo" 

"That was one time!!!"

"Doesn't change the fact that you're whipp- Haechan, please don't tell me this is what I think it is" Johnny says, his tone sounding both terrified and done with.

Suddenly and in front of them, donghyuck is spotted holding the ends of that red dress and curtseying. He's wearing that ugly wig given by red velvet's stylist as an apology for accidently putting expired lip gloss on him when she took a shift for their appointed make up artist.

"Hello oppa-deul, I hope you were having a great time discussing but I need a date for prom, is any gentleman available thursday night. By the way, I said gentleman, not mark" Donghyuck-no dongsook says in her high-pitched voice, eyes blinking at a very fast pace..

Guess it's that time of the year.

"No, not the dongsookie outfit, that's my worst nightmare." 

"More than your predebut pictures?" Dong(soo)hyuck asks, still feigning innocence.

"I'm going to join lee soo man for a smoke" Johnny gets up hastily from the couch and the remaining three erupt in laugher

"How do you even know prom? you've never been to one" jaehyun asks and pretends to wip a tear. He looks like he's talking to a younger sibling, he always does when it comes to donghyuck.

"Bitch, I didn't watch 10 reasons why I hate you for nothing" Donghyuck's voice dramatically deepens as he glares at them, a total whiplash from the literal 2 minutes ago.

But it's donghyuck we're talking about, so he soon goes again into character, flaunting the robe.

Mark ignores jaehyun resetting the game, all for watching donghyuck jump from one place to another, his hands swayed back and forth in a childish manner as he's softly singing _"That's falling in love"_ He would've made such a good theatre kid, mark thinks to himself.

He also thinks it's rare to find someone who acts the way donghyuck does, he struggles repressing another smile as his memory takes him to their trainee days.

Back then, he had never seen someone dedicate some much time for him, day and night, dance and vocal classes. It would've been almost cute, having the undevided attention of a person especially donghyuck, that sure would've boosted his ego...

Had he not taken the sentence "make someone's life a living hell" **too** seriously and mark wasn't a foreigner who had still struggled being so so far away from his family and learning a language that wasn't his own.

5 years later, nothing between them much changed. Donghyuck still bullies him on a regular basis, mark still gets irritated when he can't help it, and they still are the tom and jerry couple.

But something definitely changed. Maybe it's both they're grown ups now ( donghyuck is still a minor, but you get the gist) and even though sometimes being best friends with your polar opposite gets a bit too much, he likes to think they're figuring it out and co-habitating with their antics and to mark, it makes him feel like he's not missing the signification of a home, comfortable. the evidence of this essay would be that he's no longer weirded out by this dongsook play, he even hypes him.

His eyes don't leave haechan's shadow as he makes his way out, taking off the wig, the cheap material probably made him feel itchy.

Mark only hopes that wig didn't have any STDs in it, people can be crazy sometimes.

"Hey, Dante called, he said he wants his lovesick gaze back" Jaehyun speaks again.

KO appears on the tv again, and they both roll their eyes at the dramatic tears jaehyun's avatar shades.

"Can you please stop talking like that?"

"Fine, fine, a love guru was never my dream job, but you should see the way you were looking at him" he says and plays a new round, clearly not ashamed enough.

Mark is sure he physically can't take that advice but he chuckles anyways.

30 minutes later, when Mark is left to his own thoughts and a glass of water on the table, he remembers the lyrics his mind came up with and what jaehyun told him.

He shrug his shoulders at the lack of correlation.

\------------

Mark is sure there's something wrong, weird with him.

Not only are those soft starry (for the lack of a better adj) lyrical verses still popping out in his mind every now and then. But believe him or not, the exact same thing crafted there happens to him the next few minutes, like some sort of prediction.

What's even weirder is that this whole manifesting verses thing doesn't occur everytime mark has his "creative artist" moment.

(After writing drippin, he lived in deep fear of having wet dreams and trying to hide the proof in a dorm of 10 people, but nothing of that happened :/ )

And well, something's not clicking. It's been over a year since that wicked part in his brain awakned but he has yet to figure how to turn it on and off.

Sometimes, mark forces himself to mediate, he would spend hours and hours (when the schedule allows) just gazing at the sky, learning every name of every constellation known in the universe and try to coax poetry out of it. the words end up messy, superficiel and most importantly, they don't come true.

He's sure there's a pattern for whatever is happening, he just doesn't know what does it follow.

It also sucks that he's keeping things to himself. He would have long ago spilled the secret to haechan per usual but the boy has issues of his own that he - for some reasons- refuses telling mark about. It hurts mark being in the oblivion, of course it does. 

It hurts a little more when it concerns donghyuck.

Everytime he spots donghyuck hanging out with the other members or talking to the phone to someone he claims to be his friend, he can't help but feel weird. He wonders if haechan told them he's been talking to the walls too many times for it to be normal. He lets it slide though, he likes to think they are grown ups (donghyuck's still a minor but you got the gist the first time) and they don't need to run to each other for every problem anymore. That strange place in his encephalon seems to disagree. 

(That weird part of his mind doesn't deserve any rights so mark doesn't will himself to care)

Speaking of the devil, he was actually in the practice room with haechan, when they decided to take a break and grab snacks. 

When they get to the reception, they find the vending machine broken and the staff tell them to wait at least 15 minutes as they fix, one of the workers offers mark water in the meantime.

The glass that honestly looks dirty is not the most hygienic choice but for mark - who wholeheartedly believes in the 5 seconds rule- some grease stains are not going to stop him from getting something free.

They've been standing in front of the machine for almost half an hour because someone messed with it so that they wouldn't pay for the snacks and mark gets bored, so he recalls a joke mina told him earlier (He's lowkey sure she has a crush on him, girlie spends too much time stirring conversation with him rather than rehearsing her parts)

The joke has long ended, but not a sound of laughter from haechan is heard. It's not really suprising, after all it's his brand to pretend that mark is the absolute loser on this planet. But the fact that he doesn't even have to move a muscle to feel donghyuck's smirk, probably making fun of him doesn't make it any less embarassing.

See, that's what he meant when he said living as mark lee is a hussle!!!

Feeling a bit ashamed (what a big word), mark pouts and looks down at his glass, some water in it.

His eyebrows lift in small suprise as he catches donghyuck's reflection in the water. Mark can barely outline him but he's sure donghyuck's not smirking. If anything, his expression is very close to a a grin, a beam, a fond smile???

Mark has never been good in physics, he knows shit about refraction and angles of incident rays. So don't expect him to explain it scientifically, but there was just something, something weird in the way his lips were reflected.

Mark keeps staring, curious if it's a trick of SM shitty lights or donghyuck's eyes are actually shining. He has to blink his eyes several times, even goes at to shake the cup lightly but the image doesn't vanish. It becomes clearer and... magical.

It's then that he feels a familiar sensation vibrates in his mind.

No, no, no, now is not the time.

_No use in hiding this feeling_

_Even if I cast down my eyes, you're there above, glistening._

"You known, I feel like fullstar would have been a better stage name" mark blurts, suprising both of them.

Oh, fuck it _._

Haechan chocks on air, spends 10 seconds worrying mark by panting and another 10 being the dramatic person he is.

Mark still gives him the glass of water to help his suffocation. He's suprised by his own frown when haechan keeps it in his hand.

"Full star???? the fuck is wrong with you?" He screams, putting his hand on his chest, still shocked.

Mark stars at him, thinking of an answer.

 _"I don't know, somehow my mind thinks of romatic shit only for it to manifest into real life events, it's not really convenient it happened just now and you were giving me a stupid smile_ " 

"I mean the sun is a star too, right? don't think too much of it" is what he retorts to instead. 

A silence stretches between the two of them, not necessarily awkward but also not comfortable, a weird one.

He's been saying that word so much these days, sudden too. Can he have his linguistic skills back in change of this star crap he's been dealing with??

"Next thing you're gonna tell me that my face is like a universe, my moles the stars" Donghyuck laughs and wriggles his eyesbrows like the little shit he is.

"You sure you're not narcisstic?" 

Donghyuck's aura abruptly gets gloomy as he mumbles something under his breath that mark fails to hear.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. You're right mark, I'm a star and I'll light up your sky" Donghyuck smirks, although it doesn't reach its full lethal capacity, mark furrows his brows.

"Dude, stop, it's not funny"

"Funnier than than that joke of a ...joke, where did you get it anyways?" Haechan asks.

"Mina, she never run out of those, it's crazy" 

"Oh, I see...But you know mark, I'll have to agree with you with what you said. I mean, what can one tiny dot do?" Donghyuck lets out a laugh, dry, probably because of his asphyxiation

They leave the conversation there and the younger of the two goes to buy his snack after the machine is fixed and then dashes out, leaving mark alone with the empty glass.

Hours later, as he shut his eyelids and is about to sleep, his annoying mind drifts to their conversation, he feels like he's missing something.

He finds a weird urge to go and ask haechan what he meant earlier, and where did he come up with such melancholic thoughts when mark never implied anything.

He ends up having more of a memory than a dream, he goes back to his audition for SM. the bright mirth in haechan's eyes when they had first met flashes afterwards, and other moments come through onward. 

Dream-mark was never good at physiogonomy, he doesn't even believe in shit like that. But looking at everything they experienced, he wishes he could inspect every trait of haechan's face, spot the tinniest difference in his light and mesure it so that even when donghyuck is stressed and can't find the brave to tell someone about his worries, mark would still read him.

It's october, and it's not even that cold. Still, his whole body shivers when he wakes up.

\---

It's december 29th, 2 days from ending 2019 and the graduation of donghyuck from dream.

It is also the start of a new chapter for 127's who are preparing for their second tour, which explains why they were practicing at 2 in the morning. 

(It doesn't really explain much since they are always working, world tour or not but whatever)

It's already been 721 days since mark became an adult, but nothing has really changed. He still gets those unexpected mushy lyrics every now and then, they also haven't stopped becoming real.

He also has yet to figure out the identity of his muse. He flirted with so many people out there but none of them reminded him of stars, no offense.

Mark has said it already and he will repeat it. He's not oblivious, meaning that some aespacts have started falling into place. Donghyuck is almost always around the corner when this magical thing happens and even if he's not physically present, he's somehow on mark's mind.

Why though? is what mark fails to know, and desperately wants to.

Donghyuck has been an adult for 363 days and mark feels very weird (How many times has it been repeated? I lost count) about it.

Adulthood made donghyuck weirder, sharper yet softer. He's still talking to the walls, albeit very less since that time mark shamed him for it ( Yes, mark was an ass, he already knows that). Mark also thinks he's glowing, more literally than figuratively. Their stylist is literally doing everything in her power to make him go out with her sister after she had developped a crush on him (that damned boom video) donghyuck didn't tell mark any of that and mark knows how he feels about being left out this time, he just doesn't want to say it.

Enough sadness, the good news: he's getting a lot more comfortable with "Staring" ( It's supposed to be star writing, yeah it's lame, no need to remind him) 

He no longer sees it as a jinx but.. maybe a super capacity. It makes him feel a bit more special, it doesn't hinder his writing projects for NCT or even sperm. And believe it or not, Sometimes he feels thankful, when he feels tired and isn't able to put his cool front, hearing (in his head) pretty words makes him feel a lot better.

Also, since he's still hiding it from the world, It's like he's living his spidermark fantasies, just with maybe a lower budget and less cool superpowers. 

Exactly at 1:55 into the choreo of 'touch', mark feel the inspiration seeping through his mind.

_These days, I feel like a little child_

_Being so excited for a shooting star_

_The moment you fall._

_I will shelter you from every harm._

Ok, remember that shit about his super power being a nice thing? yeah, scratch that.

It happens so fast, one second a fainting sound resonates in the room and then a body is collapsing in the front formations of the choreography.

Mark's pupils shake as he spots donghyuck splayed on the floor, showing no signs of consciousness, his feet soon run toward his body at full speed despite the distance already being small. 

_Poor baby is probably exhausted from all those dream shows._ Mark thinks as he takes a look at him and feels instant tears flooding his vision. He hears taeyong's sighing and going to look for a med. 

An ambulance comes shortly after and takes haechan, although the SM staff thinks they're being dramatic because nothing serious happened to him.

It's sad they all go through things like this and have to pretend it's "nothing"

It's even sadder that he has to perform the "heartbreaker" handshake without him.

************

Rumors has it that SM stands for slavery management and so donghyuck only gets one day of rest.

He was taken to the hospital due to an extreme hypotension but mark swears he's the one who feels his blood pressure tragically drop down when haechan's back in the hotel, all sick and runny nose.

"What's with me and not being able to attend our tour schedules?" is the first thing donghyuck says, he laughs a bit but it's obvious that he's exhausted.

Mark's hands play with the hem of his own hoodie and he finds it very hard to not take it off and wrap it around haechan who keeps shivering.

Mark isn't shocked at how concerned he is. He's taken back by the poetry his mind crafts the next second.

_Is it hard, being the sun ?_

_Shining for everyone but yourself_

_I'm sorry I'm not much of help_

_But I hope love_

_Any kind of love_

_light up your life_

"Remember when I said your name should have been fullstar, I still stand by my opinion"

"Are you saying you don't like my stage name, you're sick!" Haechan hits his shoulder but since he's weak, it comes off more like a pat

"No, you are" 

Donghyuck lifts a middle finger to him and they both laugh. 

The atmosphere is playful, nice and haechan isn't in a critical state or anything, yet when mark stares at him, he can't avoid asking.

"Are you doing fine?"

"I mean, not really. My body is still aching and my throat feels very closed" Donghyuck shrug his shoulders. 

"I don't mean- just, are you alright donghyuck" 

There's a silence filled with donghyuck looking at him intently. It goes on for so long (at least that's how it felt) that it makes mark feel nervous and ready to apologize (despite not knowing the reason)However, the other breaks the silence before anything else happens.

"Yeah, I'm doing alright... I'm better" 

Haechan then gives a smile and while it's tired and his lips are barely stretched, It's genuine, and looking at it leaves mark starstruck.

He smiles back

\-------

Because Lee soo man likes to make his kpop boys the epitome of every "Bad boy and x" wattpad book protagonist and it turned out kenzie gave no fucks about nobody including mark, his song gets rejected for NCT.

 _Starlight_ undergoes some (drastic) changes, becomes a song about meeting your soulmate in kwangya and goes to aespa instead.

It should feel bittersweet and well it does!

His mind didn't predict (????????????) events based on the lyrics he thought of or whatever weird ass shit that had happened the last 4 years to be paid dust and have that gem go to a rookie group that only promotes through tiktoks and their make up artist instagram profile.

(No offense to the girls, don't tell her mark said this, but giselle is kinda dope, a true foreign swagger)

Bittersweet means there is also the sweet part, and for mark, it overpowers everything.

Mark is 23, a year older than haechan and millions of fans waiting for their subunit when he realizes that for a long time, he actually had been naive, guillible and well maybe if he squints really (really) hard, innocent.

Not anymore though. And so finally one day, after finishing the dishes, he stares through a glass and has a moment of clarity, free of all magic, a real one.

It's then that mark admits that he was, is and probably will be in love with his best friend, and that the moles on said best friend's cheek are like a little cute star dust, emerging from an even greater source , donghyuck's entire being.

It took him quite a LOT to come to terms with it but...

_No need to hide my feelings._

_When I hold you in my arms._

_I can feel your warmth melting my heart._

Something inside his head tells him that this is going to be the last time Staring is going to happen but his grin doesn't waver at all.

Oh, and isn't it just so convenient that haechan comes barging the exact next second, holding a piece of paper mark gave him and a big, radiant smile plastered on his face?

The most dazzling star, indeed.

\------------

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it  
> I felt like it was messy but....  
> There's the second part (haechan's pov od this) but I'm not sure if I'll post it  
> Hope you guys leave kudos and comments.. I love reading them...  
> Follow me on twt @hadjerwrites and cc is morpfriend  
> Stay safe everyone 😘


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